Friday, May 8, 2009

Lying for Sales - Kirby Vacuum

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.”
H L Mencken

I don't know about you but I'm about saturated up to my gills with lies! Dishonest tobacco companies, lying bank executives, spin doctoring presidents and politicians and of course door-to-door salesmen.

We were visited at Herriman Snowbird Headquarters today by, if we believe what she told us, a lady who "just wanted to come in and get warm" so it would look to her boss like "she was just showing us about cleaning our carpets." She claimed that she would "clean a room of our carpet for free" if we would just "tell others how good she was."

That whole premise is so suffused with "hidden agendas" and lies — where on earth do I begin — even if you ignore the fact that it was almost the first shirt-sleeve day we've had this year and everyone is GOING OUTSIDE to warm up!

It does not require many words to speak the truth.”
Chief Joseph: (1840-1904)

Kirby vacuum's have been notoriously sold door-to-door for years; but to sink so low… Before she walked out the door almost NINETY-MINUTES later we had to fight off her "Boss" who was "just helping her out because she was new at this" and his Kirby Vacuum demonstration — not once but TWICE!

At least with time-share sales pitches you know (at least you should) that you had better brace yourself for some pretty high-pressure sales arm-twisting. Mom told both of them that if she had known up front they wanted to sell her a Kirby Vacuum she wouldn't have let them in (good for her) because Kirby's are too high priced. (Way over $2,000.00, if you can believe it! And she claimed they sell one out of three!)

Their problem, which I'm sure they didn't see coming, was that, unlike them, we were telling the truth! However, despite our warnings, she kept at it trying to ingratiate herself through insipid conversation and sucking dirt out of the carpet — what, to make us feel guilty??

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”
Mark Twain

Why on earth would ANYONE buy anything, ever, from someone who had just used deceit and/or any form of deception in order to get one's attention?! Are we supposed think that a liar will deal fairly with us in any other part of the transaction? I certainly don't.

They got in the house because we actually are in the market for some carpet cleaning. However, lest any reader want to show up and sell me something, if a heavy-set, balding guy comes to the door with a winters-worth of suntan from snowbirding: beware.

If you want to ever have a chance of selling a legitimate product, do not… under any circumstances, begin with… "I'm trying to win a contest!"


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