GEO-tography: Halloween Edition

In spite of the fact that Sam's club has had scary paraphenalia out for over two months, and Home Depot has a whole fleet of snow-throwers chained to their front door ready to go, the most sure sign that Halloween's near is the snow falling on the tomato plants at snowbird headquarters and smashing those suckers flat, freezing them harder'n a rock!

If it weren't for the smoke/carbon monoxide detector-alarm calling out the fire department just to remind us that its shelf-life was only 5 years and needed to be replaced, we'd be hibernating by now – but it does and we aren't. I've always thought that bears had it figured out – just go to bed, pull the covers over your head and sleep 'till it's over!

However, the horses are all sprouting winter coats, you get sugar-intoxication diabetes just walking in the door of most supermarkets, the garden has freezer burn and we've run out of neighbors to strong-arm into taking a basket of squash; so, I guess we pretty much have to resign ourselves that:
IT'S HALLOWEEN!

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Fire Singes Snowbird Headquarters - Camp Williams, Herriman Blaze

[For the second time in a row the excellent post explaining the Great Basin is preempted by late breaking issues. It'll be back and get its full allotment of headline time – I promise]

Even though Snowbird Headquarters escaped the actual flames, it's a bit difficult to breath around here lately. And I'm just not talking about the "normal" brown gunk that passes for mountain valley air during inversions.

All The Kings Horses and All the Kings Men …

It'll take a lot more than the "Kings Men" to make right the Pandora's Box they unleashed with their machine gun practice. The inferno began when the army was playing with their machine guns in the bone dry hills – go figure.

So far, they claim that their maneuvers were "meeting the protocol"; but, it'll be interesting to see how THAT one shakes out, 'cause I'll tell you there's a whole lot of pissed people around here who aren't about to let this one ride. I mean, it's pretty hard to exhibit the "righteous inner peace" everyone seems to expect of the valley's residents, when it's you who is sleeping on a cot in a high-school gym!

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Not Gonna' Happen This Year

The one thing that I look most forward to all year has blown up in my face… the annual ride up to Kennecott overlook with my bud Jeff and his kids.

That's what you get, I guess, when you put it off till the fall like we did. The weather turns cold and the kids don't seem to want to go out in it. We've done the ride ever since Herriman became summer snowbird headquarters.

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Summer Snowbirding: The Fall

The signs of the times are upon us. Our favorite source of produce, Fujiwara's Farmer's Market (on 124th S in Riverton, near I-15) is beginning to fill up with straw bales — an absolute indicator that Halloween is screaming down the path directly at us.

Unfortunately, that also means that our favorite thing to eat – succulent ears of sweet corn – is also coming to an end. The Fujiwara brothers apologize profusely, but what can they do? They've made an almost superhuman effort to keep their coolers stocked with corn in this "down" year for corn due to the prolonged early rains – but, alas, it is not meant to be.

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Jordan Districts - "Silver Crest" Elementary School

Finishing touches are still being put on Jordan School District's new elementary school near Snowbird Headquarters, probably even while the school kids watch longingly out the windows.

Needless to say the traffic pattern around the area has been a nightmare for the past year while they constructed the odd school. Why odd you ask... well, for one thing its an elementary school and it's two story. Not common.

And for another, they plunked it down right in the middle of about the only road into Herriman — hard to believe some money didn't line some pockets for that one!

But, the real oddity is the exorbitant price tag! It seems to me as if the entire school board had no more sense than a couple of adolescent newlyweds who think they absolutely can't live without a house and all the furnishings better than their parents.

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Deceitful Dirt

Who would have thought that an eighteen inch wide piece of dirt could be so ornery and downright deceitful, even if it was 45 feet long!

It began several years ago when the neighbor poured cement next to the fence and it oozed under. Tired of looking at the eye-sore, dad decided to simply put a length of "pressure treated" along it and plant something.

The good news was that the edging went in alright, the bad news was - that's where the sprinklers had been placed. We dutifully dug them up and re-routed them to the front of the boards.

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Geocaching: Butterfield Canyon

For larks, when I stumbled across a geocaching website, I punched in the address for Snowbird Headquarters. To my surprise it listed 162 caches within a five mile radius and 495 within 7.5 miles!

I'm going to give you the link to the site because it probably is a worthwhile site for an offroader to occasionally use; but, it'll be down at the end because, to me, it's one of those sites designed to milk the public for all they can — and do it by selling you back other peoples work.

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Backyard Bailout

More than a few times this week we have looked out the back window of Summer Snowbird Headquarters to see standing water in the back yard. The poor fruit trees have been propped up to prevent them tipping over in the mud.

We probably would have done better to plant mangrove trees. Ducks are running the bases in the little league baseball diamond next door.

Something has happened in the construction business. Lots all around us, which have sat vacant, full of weeds, for the last four years, now have holes dug and forms laid. Mounds of construction dirt all over the place — now pretty much mud and swimming pools.

It hasn't seemed to stop the kids playing in the waterpark though, they are still splashing and cavorting.

At least the lakes and dams are full. I wonder if that will be enough to keep the newscasters from whining — probably not.

Pessimists, we're told, look at a glass containing 50% air and 50% water and see it as half empty. Optimists, in contrast, see it as half full. Engineers, of course, understand the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.”
Bob Lewis

It seems that the people I follow on Twitter [Mike Massimino (Astro_Mike), Scott Parazynski (SPOTScott) and Mark Polansky (Astro_127)] are all going to be home this weekend.

Mike, because he returned from Hubble last week; Scott because he's home now from summiting Everest on his second try; and Mark, because his launch was aborted.

Me… I'm here cause it's raining.   Maybe I'll go swimming in the neighbors new pool.

Microsoft Natal Project

When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.”
a.a.Milne

The weather has been a bit blustery this week at the summer snowbird headquarters in Herriman so more than the usual amount of time has been spent sitting in front of the computer.

Pediatricians, for at least 30 years that I know of, have been worrying (and warning) about the "boob-tube" syndrome occurring in anyone who spends more than a few hours a week in front of the tube. Certainly there currently is an epidemic of obesity in children.

Some of that may change, at least a bit, with a new development from Microsoft: Project "Natal." Competitively, this is the MS "one-upsmanship" to the "Wii" game platform. Technologically, it could prove to be one of the rare "quantum leaps" in our culture. The computer equivalent to what George Lucas did to the movie industry by the release of "Star Wars."

This video takes a bit of time to download, so be patient. It is worth the wait to be able to see it in "High Quality." There is another video describing one of the first to be available applications for X-Box "Natal"; but, that will be saved for a future post.



Anything to get them little arms and legs up and a-movin'.

Lying for Sales - Kirby Vacuum

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.”
H L Mencken

I don't know about you but I'm about saturated up to my gills with lies! Dishonest tobacco companies, lying bank executives, spin doctoring presidents and politicians and of course door-to-door salesmen.

We were visited at Herriman Snowbird Headquarters today by, if we believe what she told us, a lady who "just wanted to come in and get warm" so it would look to her boss like "she was just showing us about cleaning our carpets." She claimed that she would "clean a room of our carpet for free" if we would just "tell others how good she was."

That whole premise is so suffused with "hidden agendas" and lies — where on earth do I begin — even if you ignore the fact that it was almost the first shirt-sleeve day we've had this year and everyone is GOING OUTSIDE to warm up!

It does not require many words to speak the truth.”
Chief Joseph: (1840-1904)

Kirby vacuum's have been notoriously sold door-to-door for years; but to sink so low… Before she walked out the door almost NINETY-MINUTES later we had to fight off her "Boss" who was "just helping her out because she was new at this" and his Kirby Vacuum demonstration — not once but TWICE!

At least with time-share sales pitches you know (at least you should) that you had better brace yourself for some pretty high-pressure sales arm-twisting. Mom told both of them that if she had known up front they wanted to sell her a Kirby Vacuum she wouldn't have let them in (good for her) because Kirby's are too high priced. (Way over $2,000.00, if you can believe it! And she claimed they sell one out of three!)

Their problem, which I'm sure they didn't see coming, was that, unlike them, we were telling the truth! However, despite our warnings, she kept at it trying to ingratiate herself through insipid conversation and sucking dirt out of the carpet — what, to make us feel guilty??

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”
Mark Twain

Why on earth would ANYONE buy anything, ever, from someone who had just used deceit and/or any form of deception in order to get one's attention?! Are we supposed think that a liar will deal fairly with us in any other part of the transaction? I certainly don't.

They got in the house because we actually are in the market for some carpet cleaning. However, lest any reader want to show up and sell me something, if a heavy-set, balding guy comes to the door with a winters-worth of suntan from snowbirding: beware.

If you want to ever have a chance of selling a legitimate product, do not… under any circumstances, begin with… "I'm trying to win a contest!"

This is Spring ! (?)

While Charley is informing all the Kokopelli ATV club in Mesquite that they will riding to the Virgin River this Saturday - and that they should bring lawn chairs because the weather should be warm - we're still running around in sweaters and dodging rain up here at Herriman Snowbird Headquarters.

I guess it could be worse. We could be in the surrounding mountains where it is snowing.

Charlie emailed that he had been asked to write an article for the Mesquite magazine about a scenic ride and he had chosen the North Valley Loop. A great choice for a spring ride because of all the wildflowers and Yuccas in the lower valley.

I spent several days, and many email communications with authors of mapping programs, trying to provide Charley with a map graphic to accompany the article and was successful in finding GPS Visualizer a great web site with many different capabilities.

Dad seems inordinately compulsive about seeing green lawn here at Headquarters and has fertilized it long ago — before the snow fully melted. The problem with such industriousness is that he's already had to mow it three times so far.

Home is where you can say anything you please, because nobody pays any attention to you anyway.”
Joe Moore

Fortunately, even with all the snow that fell here while we were gone, the sprinkler system made it through without a hitch. And we didn't loose any more trees.

With all the spring buds, we've got the prettiest section of the whole subdivision, and the back yard isn't so shabby either -- at least that's what the Meadowlarks, Robins, and House Finch's think.

Disport: Hale Centre Theater "Phantom"

For several years we have obtained season tickets to Salt Lake City's Hale Centre Theater - HTC to those in "the know." We had seats yesterday for the afternoon performance of their latest show.

Disport: To occupy oneself with amusement or diversion.”

From its early beginnings as the local mom and pop "Hale Family Theater," it went big time when it expanded to a multi-million dollar facility on the "West Side" a few years ago.

One the one hand, trying to succeed in theater in a culture, who equates the term "locally produced" with years and years of church "road shows," is no small feat. Their productions often "stun" patrons, who then exit the theater with looks of incredulity muttering "where did they get all these out of town professionals."

On the other hand, the professionalism of the HTC campus seems, in some ways, to perplex even its owners and employees as well. For example, they haven't, even at this late date, figured out how to provide customer service at the concession stand. The rotunda was crowded, they had already begun seating, and there were probably 20 of us forming an impromptu line in front of the counter where two gals seemed to be busying themselves gossiping with someone they knew.

A lady at the front of the line asked one of the girls when they would begin selling, as it didn't look like they had any intention of doing it soon, and was condescendingly told "soon." Well, "soon" came and went several times before they finally took the first order, then acted like they were "making it up" as they went along. Clearly they haven't figured out the "concession part" of the business in the many years I've been going there.

On the other hand, "where did they get all that talent?" Many incredible voices sang their hearts out - (and even the audio guy seemed to have achieved enlightenment in running the volume knob so as not to cause our ears to bleed.)

On the other hand, if YOU, like me, jumped to the conclusion that the production's music would have been written by Andrew Lloyd Webber; then, YOU, like me would have been very confused as the play began. This was "Phantom" (by Arthur Kopit and Maury Yeston) NOT "Phantom of the Opera" (by Andrew Lloyd Webber, Charles Hart and Richard Stilgoe).

The HTC playbill was almost identical to Webber's (perhaps deliberately so) but this was an "Operetta." I'm sure they surmised that if they would have publicized that fact they would have had empty seats.

If you never have,
You should.
These things are fun,
And fun is good.”
Dr. Suess

Now, I like musicals, understand operetta's and can even tolerate some opera's; but, unfortunately, these very professional quality singers were plying their craft on instantly forgettable songs. I couldn't even remember one melody as I left the theater.

On the other hand, the story-line you couldn't forget even if you tried — it was... odd! The antagonist in this version was not so much the "Phantom" but the farcically played, wannabe-diva, musical director's wife, Carlotta.

On the other hand, the fingernail-on-the-chalkboard, annoyingly-theatrical performance that she gave must have been good, for the audience applauded when the Phantom killed her.

And, on the last hand, as expected, their highest paid performer (the million dollar, hydraulic stage) not only worked flawlessly but was so overwhelmingly professional that it makes any HTC production worth seeing... operetta or not!

Will It Ever Stop Snowing?

I didn't always try to avoid snow. As a kid it was a novelty most enjoyable. Now, however it only serves as a detractant from life's real purpose - offroading!

One might think that after this many years I would have the rules of snowbirding down pat. So why is there so much snow out my door?

Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quiestest chambers. The mind can never break off from the journey.”
Pat Conroy

One does have to give the mountains credit for the show they are putting on — and the Salt Lake Valley air is uncharacteristically clean and clear; but, sigh, most of my buddy's are riding back down where we just left.

Charley's ride with the club was down Scanlon Ferry road again — they had a lot of novice riders this trip and couldn't do much exploring. The cacti were still not much in bloom.

And this weekend, Rod and his family went back down to Lime Kiln Canyon. They used the info on this blog to plan the journey and I'm awaiting their report. They promised to send photos.

Snowbirds - Where are we today?

What in the sam *%! have we done! I'm sitting here looking out the window of Herriman Snowbird Headquarters at at least 20 feet of snow outside our door!

The lease was up on Mesquite Snowbird Headquarters April 1st, so we packed up and trekked back to Utah. What a big mistake! We had to dodge between two storms and have been stuck inside while it has stormed nearly all week. So much for trying to miss this winter's snow.

It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily.
"So it is," (said rabbit).
"And freezing."
"Is it?"
"Yes," said Eeyore.
"However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately.”
A.A.Milne

The misery is made all the more poignant knowing that Charley and the club are going ATVing Saturday, down on Gold Butte. In fact he says they intend on riding every weekend in April. Hopefully they will send me their GPS trails.

One thing about snowbirds is that the biannual relocation gives you something to do. If you plan it right you can spend nearly 3 months unloading the boxes; then, you've got something to do for the next three months and reload them.

You see, once you've attained the rank of "snowbird" it's perpetual. The title holds no matter which side of winter you reside on. Oh, I know some change their name to "sunbirds"; but, us purists don't hold much with that foolishness... We know what we are!

[Charley said they have now taken the 96 mile ride. It was cool and the cacti still aren't blooming. Next weekend: "Three Corners" - Utah, Nevada, Arizona border.]